Here's a new category:

Unbelievable Gig Experience!

Last night, I had the most ridiculous thing happen to me at a gig.

I am the bass trombonist with a 17 piece jazz orchestra called "The Stardusters" that, among other things, always plays the last Wednesday of the month at a pub here in Bloomington.

In this pub, the bandstand is set up right next to a huge window so that you can see the performers to entice folks into the bar. I am set up right next to that window which has a fenced in outdoor section right on the other side. As I am, by approximately 15 years, the junior of the group, it has become a regularity that young men sit at the tables right outside the window instead of in front of the band indoors. These young men are constantly trying to get my attention and are occationally rewarded with a polite smile for their efforts.

Well, there was one such young man sitting outside last night. I kept seeing him staring at me out of the corner of my eye, and was intentionally not looking at him as much as possible because he was literally 3 feet away from me. At the end of one tune, a wave of police cars going past the pub caught my attention, causing me to look in his direction. He seemed delighted and pantomimed "bravo" and "encore". I did a little bow and motioned to the band behind me.

I intentionally did not look at him after that because I could feel him trying to get my attention to lock eyes again - but I did notice out of the corner of my eye an animated conversation between him and his waitress in which he frequently pointed at me. The waitress then went and got the manager of the pub, and an animated conversation occurred between them, again with frequent pointing.

About 15 minutes later, we were playing a rendition of "Moten Swing" when the most bizarre thing happened. We were about 24 bars into the chart, when all of the sudden this guy from outside starts to walk into the bandstand!! He is pushing his way through the saxophonists while we are still playing and was coming straight for me! Our band leader, Jerry, grabbed the guy's arm and yelled "Hey buddy! What the hell do you think you are doing?! You can't come in here!!". The guy went as far as he could with Jerry holding his arm and then started throwing money at me!!! He ended up throwing five dollars and then he just left the bar.

I swear, that was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me at a gig. And the band didn't miss a beat, although some folks were having problems playing because they were laughing so hard. . . .

And yes, I kept the money , bitch.

OH MY GOSH!! A NEW POST!!!!

So sorry to my "adoring fan" (Mom?) at the length of time since my last post. Life pretty much exploded on me since the last time I posted.

Here is a list of random things that have occurred since my last post here:

• I graduated. Sort of. I still need to take piano proficiency because I sort of forgot to sign up for the test. I only have to test out of scales, so my degree (or lack thereof) is contingent on me playing approximately four scales for IU. No, I'm not kidding. Oh well, I'm still in town!
• I got a job working in the Friends of Music office at IU. Only hourly right now, but I've applied for the full position. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you posted!
• I wrote a book. Yes. A book. It is called "The Lean Months Survival Guide". We'll see what happens, I'm still in the editing process. Anyone want to cook-test some recipes?
  
• The horse is back home finally. YAY! A friend is helping me take care of him in exchange for being able to ride him on days that she cares for him.

That's the nutshell version of my life. Now onto the good stuff:

Asinine Discoveries - Slow News Day

Today I found a magical newspaper article in the Bloomington Herald Times:

"Researchers study behavior at buffets - Report finds differing dining habits among fat, skinny folks"

Here are some highlights:

"Wansink bases these tips on research he and a colleague . . . conducted observing 235 people in 14 Chinese all-you-can-eat buffets."

• Somehow, this concept is insanely funny to me.

"Their findings will be released to the New York Times today"

• Apparently the Herald Times is not the only paper having a slow news day.

"In the buffet study, Wansink also found that heavy people chewed an average of 11 times per forkful of food, compared to 15 times for people of normal weight"

• Who's job was it to sit there and count while people chewed? How uncomfortable would that make you feel, to have someone staring at you while you ate - making tick marks on a tablet?
  

". . . rotund eaters put more food on their plates"

• Um... no shit?

And to think - someone funded this research!