Thursday, July 02, 2009


CAPTION CONTEST!!!

Post your suggestion for an amazing caption as a comment. What do you win? Hilarity.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Here's a new category:

Unbelievable Gig Experience!

Last night, I had the most ridiculous thing happen to me at a gig.

I am the bass trombonist with a 17 piece jazz orchestra called "The Stardusters" that, among other things, always plays the last Wednesday of the month at a pub here in Bloomington.

In this pub, the bandstand is set up right next to a huge window so that you can see the performers to entice folks into the bar. I am set up right next to that window which has a fenced in outdoor section right on the other side. As I am, by approximately 15 years, the junior of the group, it has become a regularity that young men sit at the tables right outside the window instead of in front of the band indoors. These young men are constantly trying to get my attention and are occationally rewarded with a polite smile for their efforts.

Well, there was one such young man sitting outside last night. I kept seeing him staring at me out of the corner of my eye, and was intentionally not looking at him as much as possible because he was literally 3 feet away from me. At the end of one tune, a wave of police cars going past the pub caught my attention, causing me to look in his direction. He seemed delighted and pantomimed "bravo" and "encore". I did a little bow and motioned to the band behind me.

I intentionally did not look at him after that because I could feel him trying to get my attention to lock eyes again - but I did notice out of the corner of my eye an animated conversation between him and his waitress in which he frequently pointed at me. The waitress then went and got the manager of the pub, and an animated conversation occurred between them, again with frequent pointing.

About 15 minutes later, we were playing a rendition of "Moten Swing" when the most bizarre thing happened. We were about 24 bars into the chart, when all of the sudden this guy from outside starts to walk into the bandstand!! He is pushing his way through the saxophonists while we are still playing and was coming straight for me! Our band leader, Jerry, grabbed the guy's arm and yelled "Hey buddy! What the hell do you think you are doing?! You can't come in here!!". The guy went as far as he could with Jerry holding his arm and then started throwing money at me!!! He ended up throwing five dollars and then he just left the bar.

I swear, that was the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me at a gig. And the band didn't miss a beat, although some folks were having problems playing because they were laughing so hard. . . .

And yes, I kept the money , bitch.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

OH MY GOSH!! A NEW POST!!!!

So sorry to my "adoring fan" (Mom?) at the length of time since my last post. Life pretty much exploded on me since the last time I posted.

Here is a list of random things that have occurred since my last post here:

  • I graduated. Sort of. I still need to take piano proficiency because I sort of forgot to sign up for the test. I only have to test out of scales, so my degree (or lack thereof) is contingent on me playing approximately four scales for IU. No, I'm not kidding. Oh well, I'm still in town!
  • I got a job working in the Friends of Music office at IU. Only hourly right now, but I've applied for the full position. We'll see what happens and I'll keep you posted!
  • I wrote a book. Yes. A book. It is called "The Lean Months Survival Guide". We'll see what happens, I'm still in the editing process. Anyone want to cook-test some recipes?
  • The horse is back home finally. YAY! A friend is helping me take care of him in exchange for being able to ride him on days that she cares for him.
That's the nutshell version of my life. Now onto the good stuff:

Asinine Discoveries - Slow News Day

Today I found a magical newspaper article in the Bloomington Herald Times:

"Researchers study behavior at buffets - Report finds differing dining habits among fat, skinny folks"

Here are some highlights:

"Wansink bases these tips on research he and a colleague . . . conducted observing 235 people in 14 Chinese all-you-can-eat buffets."
  • Somehow, this concept is insanely funny to me.

"Their findings will be released to the New York Times today"

  • Apparently the Herald Times is not the only paper having a slow news day.

"In the buffet study, Wansink also found that heavy people chewed an average of 11 times per forkful of food, compared to 15 times for people of normal weight"
  • Who's job was it to sit there and count while people chewed? How uncomfortable would that make you feel, to have someone staring at you while you ate - making tick marks on a tablet?

". . . rotund eaters put more food on their plates"

  • Um... no shit?

And to think - someone funded this research!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Random Song Generator Adventure

For those of you who know me exceptionally well, you already know what it is that I refer to here. Indulge me to explain to those who are not as familiar:

I know the lyrics to a really disgusting amount of songs from a wide variety of genres, eras and languages. I have no idea how many it actually is, I'm not sure there is any way of quantifying it.

The "Random Song Generator" is what we have lovingly dubbed my brain when it won't settle on just one song. My mind goes from song to song in free association mode and picks up some really incredibly random things.

Today, Random Song Generator started going, and I realized that a lot of these songs I hadn't heard in ages. I thought, "Why don't I own these things yet?" So I decided to start buying the ones I could find on I-tunes. I had to cut myself off after only 15 minutes because it was getting really expensive!

It all started with me thinking about Elle Greenwich. She wrote a lot of very popular songs back in the 60's and I played her in a musical in high school. Fun times.

It started with:
Da Doo Run Run

And here is what happened next:
  • And Then He Kissed Me
  • The Kind of Boy You Can't Forget
  • Do Wah Diddy
  • I Wanna Love Him So Bad
  • River Deep, Mountain High
  • Can't Get Enough of Your Love
  • Daydream Believer
  • Respect
  • Just My Imagination
  • Black Magic Woman
  • Take It Easy
  • After Midnight
  • Tip Toe Through the Tulips
  • Poisoning Pigeons in the Park
  • Light My Fire
  • A Day In the Life
  • Hello, I Love You
  • I Don't Want to Live on the Moon
  • Spanish Caravan
  • Five O'Clock World
  • I Only Have Eyes For You
  • Walking My Baby Back Home
  • Sittin' On the Dock of the Bay
  • What a Wonderful World
  • Build Me Up Buttercup
  • Simply Irresistible
  • Furry Sings the Blues
  • See-Line Woman
  • I Want You to Want Me
  • From the Air
  • Then I Saw Her Face
  • Never Make A Pretty Woman Your Wife
  • It Depends On What You Pay
  • Spirits In the Material World
  • Limon y Sal
  • His Cheeseburger
  • Caraluna
  • She Cries Your Name
  • Super Mario Bros Theme Song
And that it where I am going to stop it for this evening. Obviously, I'm on some sort of Oldies kick today. Strange.

Super fun challenge!!! A batch of cookies to whoever can name the most recording artists to match those songs!!
I haven't posted in forever because nothing interesting has been happening, however, randomly I have a lot of stuff to write about. So I'm going to. So there. Deal with it.

I found a CD downstairs today while I was looking for Season 3 of Red Dwarf.
This is what it says on it:

Jen & Adam
Thanks for Sharing our Wedding Day!
-Jon & Shelly Triggs
9/16/05

How much can change in three years? I'll tell you this much, a lot of heartbreak and drama has occurred since that day. It seems like it has been much longer than 3 years. Sadly, neither of these couples are still together.

This is an interesting artifact though. This was top of the parabola for both of these relationships. For Jon and Shelly, the ultimate consumation of their relationship up until that point. For Adam and I? The day we took our engagement photos.

Who would have ever guessed it would have turned out so poorly for all parties?

Strange.

True.

Blogworthy.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

I just made the world's most pathetic craft. . . .

You see, I'm in our big house by myself right now while my roommate is staying at his folks for the next month. It's a glorious thing to have the house to myself all day. . . that is, until I try to sleep. I keep thinking that someone is breaking into our house, so I've gotten in the habit of sleeping with my cellphone in my hand.

Don't ask me why it helps me sleep. I know that it makes no sense at all. I guess I think I'm going to dial 911 like lightening?

Anyway, for now I can't sleep without my cellphone on my person. Great.
I also have a habit of sleeping with my only stuffed animal, Copper, the red panda. Not for any particular reason, I just like having something to hug.

Well, I got to thinking last night that it would be totally awesome if I combined the two - so I decided to put my crocheting skills to work and make a little cellphone backpack for Copper.

So. Lame.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Well, crisis averted.
Although Goro still has my pie pan, I was able to convince Eeyore, The Prince Of Darkness to bring over his pie pan at 11:30 pm in exchange for some fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies.
And thus, my pie was saved.
Here is a picture.


Goro, I still need that pie pan.

And everyone? I still need that stunt kite.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

GORO!!!! I NEED MY PIE PAN!!!!!