Asinine Discoveries:

I was reading an article about mail order brides from India when I decided to scope out the availability of mail order men. I just sort of figured it was like the male stripper deal - everyone knows they exist but there is just less demand for them. Turns out, they are not available for order at all. Although there is an over-abundance of "mail order bride" sites online, there is no equivalent service available to women. If you Google "mail order husband" or "mail order groom" you will get nothing more than a collection of parody sites (check out those hotties) odd jokes mentioned on blogs, and one actual service that has all Ukrainian men for order.

Interestingly enough, the Ukraine also has a mail order husband service for gays.

Here is a funny little ad that I found on Craigslist:

"I would like to leave the US as a mail order husband. Permanently expatriate. I would be willing to move to a surprising number of places. I suppose I will naturally go with the hottest woman-age unimportant. If your country doesn't hate America(ns) yet, that would be a bonus. I will perform husbandly duties, whatever is customary in your land. If I can drink beer and go bald with dignity, then this too would be a bonus.

Caucasian, raised Methodist, decent teeth. 6'1"or2" and 185#. I can carry stuff, and fix stuff, I like to cook, and don't mind knocking out some dishes now and then. Please be respectful. I am willing to depart based upon the results of the upcoming November elections."

Also, I just found the song about Iowa that I'm sure I've sang for all of you at some point. It's really not the same without the fiddles. . . . Click here to be amazed.

Yes, I really should be packing. Or practicing. Shhhhhh.