Highlights From Christmas in Iowa

Presents
My brother John gave me a "Make Your Own Murder Scene Kit". It included two kitchen knifes, a box of chalk to with which to make a body outline, and four packets of Wendy's catsup for fake blood. I also managed to get THREE... yes THREE oven mitts.

When we called my Grandparents Cherveny to wish the folks in Minnesota a Merry Christmas, I was asked if I had gotten my Christmas card from Grandma and Grandpa. Well, I had.. but it had been unsigned and without the check that Grandma SWEARS she put in it. HA! She spent the next 10 minutes making everyone in Minnesota check their cards to see if she had put two checks in theirs. Yes, Grandma is starting to show her age. . .


Fun and Games

And finally . . . another Christmas, another messed up game of Balderdash. Why one of our family traditions is to play a game that rewards those who are the best at the B.S? . . . One could not say, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
Here are some of my favorite responses from this year's verbal battle:

Q: What does N.A.L.G. stand for?
Mom: The National Association of Gorillas Intellectual.
John: Never Ask Indigenous Giraffes (for directions)
Me: National Amiable League of Garotters

Q: What is the plot of "Beyond the Doors"?
John: A Nuclear power plant lets out radiation which infects a small garden where the vegetables came to life and have to fight off rabbits.

Q: What is the plot of "The Cow"?
Paul: A cow turns into a serial killer in New York City, but manages to escape the local police.

Q: What is the plot of "The Terror of Tiny Town"?
Me: A Christmas Special parody where the elven residents of Tiny Town are attacked by a venomous fanged beast from hell.

Q: In Oklahoma it is still illegal to destroy. . . ?
John: A hornet's nest with your bare hands.
Correct Answer: Another man's melons at night.

Q: What is the plot of "Wild Women of Wongo"?
Dad: Part 7 of the "Girls Gone Wild" series.
Me: In this comical version of an ancient Greek myth, Hercules must travel to the island of Wongo to stop its women from turning into murderous walruses.

Q: Who is Marta Espina?
Correct Answer: 75 year old lady who was accidentally killed by a poodle after it fell out of an apartment balcony and landed on her head.

Q: Who was Max Kiss?
Me: Man who evaded authorities for two weeks after escaping from prison by hiding in a dead moose.
John: ARG! There's a rabid hibiscus plant eating my leg! The pain! The pain! Oh... look.... a nice shiny quarter. (My favorite response of all night)

By the way, when it comes to the game of B.S, I am usually the definitive winner. This game was no different. I wonder what this says about me. . . ?