Stupidest. Cat. Ever.
My cat Milhaud is perhaps the stupidest cat that I have ever met in my life. He has no coordination, no sense of balance and absolutely no sense of "cause and effect" what-so-ever. So basically, I have a clutzy cat that has a hard time learning the household rules. Just trying to get him to stay out of the kitchen sink has been a chore! Most cats learn if you squirt them with the sink hose a couple of times to stay away. Not Milhaud. He doesn't like water - yet he doesn't seem to understand that he is getting squirted every time he goes near the sink.
Another fun method is to gently toss the cat 10 or so feet every time they get near. He came back Fourty two times.

Here is the only video proof that I have of his stupidity to date:
Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qZvyNt-VYE

I am a terribly lazy and cheap human being. Currently, I could be driving home - enjoying my nice warm apartment and playing Zelda. Or I could be practicing. What am I doing instead? Writing a blog post in the school library to occupy my time until someone with a car shows up on Google Chat that I can coerce into giving me a ride home.

You make ask yourself - "Jen, why don't you just drive yourself home?" Well - I decided that I liked sleep this morning and had to drive to school instead of catching the bus. When this happens, I have to park in the Jordan parking lot to make it to class on time. (I have to leave my apartment about half an hour early as opposed to an hour early to make this happen.) And you see, the Jordan lot charges by the hour. By the time I was able to leave, I had racked up 20 bucks in parking charges. DAMN.

However, I do know that they just open the gates after a certain time (11:00 pm on most days) and you won't have to pay. I know that it is earlier than 11:00 pm on Fridays - but I'm not sure exactly when this is. So, here I am. Wasting precious time because I'm too cheap to leave and too lazy to practice or study scores for my classical history class. I am excellent at this graduate school thing.

***************

In other news related to laziness. I have recently discovered that I am probably the least efficient human being alive.

Here is the event that alerted my attention to this problem:

I was playing Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess the other night while talking to friends on Google chat - which is my favorite form of procrastination. One of my friends happened to ask what I was doing on the Zelda game. It was then that I realized that actually, I was currently trying to get my character to walk backwards in metal boots across the entirety of Hyrule field. For absolutely no reason. What kind of person can't even be productive in a video game?! Here I should be trying to save Hyrule - but NOOOO - I choose to do things like:

• Trying to walk and change my boots at the same time.
• Cut all of the grass in Hyrule field.
• Roll across all of Lake Hylia in metal boots.
• Look at every picture in every house in every town.
• Watch the clouds for 20 minutes to see if there are any interesting shapes/changes in the weather.
• Dive off of a cliff just to see if I am allowed to do it. (Also applies to jumping into lava)

The best part? I've not even defeated the game yet. Good thing no one is really counting on me to save the world. . .

Hurray! Today is my birthday!

Born Under the Sign of the Retarded Bureaucrat
Installment 2

THEY LOST MY ENTRANCE EXAM. OMG.

Born Under the Sign of the Retarded Bureaucrat
That's what one of my friends deems only explanation for the stream of absolutely ridiculous red tape that I continue to encounter on almost a day to day basis. I've decided that this will be a regular section on this blog - because if I am going to have to go out of my way to avert this red tape B.S. then SOMEONE should at least get some amusement from it. . .

The latest fiasco:

Registration at Indiana University.
Compounded by the administration building at Truman State University.

1. Graduated from Truman in August - paid 25 dollars for my final transcripts to be mailed to Indiana University.
   
2. Get to Indiana University and realise they have not yet mailed said transcripts.
3. Call Truman - they say that 1 month is needed. Relay this info to Indiana University.
4. 2 months go by. . . . nothing happens, I assume that no further action is needed.
5. Time to register for classes! Go to get my program planning sheet signed and am informed that I have a hold on my account (that does not appear online).
   
6. Have to call registrar's office to figure out why the hold. Guess what?! No Transcripts!
7. Cannot submit planning sheet and therefore register until after transcripts are received.
   
8. Call Truman. Yell. They tell me that they will send them right away. It's been really busy. Fine.
   
9. Try to register again 2 weeks later. Still no transcripts.
10. Call Truman. Again. Yell. Again. "We never received a transcript request from you". What?! I have a receipt! "That must be from something else." What then. "We don't know." Fine. Can I pay you to mail them now? "No, you have to mail us a form because we need your signature on it." Fine.
11. Print out, fill out and mail transcript form to Truman. Pay another 30 dollars for transcripts and overnight shipping fee to Indiana University.
12. Another week goes by. Finally, Indiana University receives my transcripts! Too bad the semester is over.
13. Submit my program planning sheet on the last day they are open before Christmas.
14. It's approved! Hooray! Rejoice! But wait! Oh no. . . . I have 2 holds on my account that will prevent me from registering. One with the registrar and one with the bursar. And the offices won't be open until January 2nd. Great.
15. Look at my bursar account (which I couldn't access because of the transcript hold until now) It says that I have a past due balance (doesn't say on what) and that it has been there since the semester "Beginning of Time". WHAT?!
    
16. Wait. Wait. Wait.
17. January 2nd! Hooray! I will be able to register today. Oh no.... that never happens. Ever.
18. Call bursar's office at 3:50ish. On hold for 10ish minutes. Finally someone. Why is there a hold on my account? "Oh, you had a parking ticket from August." Why didn't anyone tell me? "We should have sent you a bill". Riiiight. I may have noticed that. Nope. "Well, I don't know what to tell you". Ditto. Ok, fine. I'll pay it. Can I pay it now? "Well, actually, our money processing abilities end at 4:00 although we are open until 5:00. You can submit the payment online - but it won't get processed until Wednesday night at 12:00 am." (Mind you the 4th is the last day to register.) Fine. Fine, Fine, FINE.
19. Slam phone down.
20. Decide to call registrar and see what the hold is. Suspect that it is nothing more than the bursar's fine again.
21. "Oh yes, you have a past due payment with the bursar. " Ok, I just took care of that. "Oh wait, there is something else here too." Oh no. What now?
22. "We need you to fill out a card detailing your ethnic background before you can register." You have got to be kidding me. "Oh, well. . . we have to give that information to the government. You should have filled that out with your application to the University, but you didn't" It said it was optional and that I didn't have to fill it out if I didn't feel comfortable. "Oh yes. Someone really should change that." What if I DON'T feel comfortable with releasing that information? "Well, you can come to the Registrar's office and fill out a special form that says that you don't feel comfortable. We need your signature on the form though." Wait - how is that not my application? Why didn't the application cover that? "It's just the way we need to do things here." Why wasn't I told about this? "You should have been sent an email about it a few months ago." Now, I KNOW I would remember something as stupid as that. Well fine - can I come in and fill out the form today? "Actually, we closed at 4:00." But it says online that you are open until 5:00. "That's the phone service desk." Oh. Fine. Whatever.
23. So, I guess I'll still have a few steps tomorrow. But this was too great not to post right now.
    

Adventures in Boredomland
Well, this has been a rather exciting week for me. Not because I actually DID anything.. but because I really DIDN'T do a blasted thing. I had a really bad ear infection and couldn't play the trombone, so I decided to take time off and do the things that I've been wanting to do.
Here is a list of things that I did with my free time:

• I created a replica of my horse Sierra. For your viewing pleasure, here is a picture of my horse next to a picture of the replica: Yes, that is real hair from my actual horse on that replica.

How long has this been on my want -to-do list? 2 years.

Milhaud! NOOOO!! Run Sierra, Run!

• I also made Kolache - a Czech pastry. Amusingly enough, I thought that this had been a family recipe - turns out, it was a recipe modified by my Grandmother that she got out of a Betty Crocker cookbook. Oh well. Despite that slight let down, the recipe remains the "Holy Grail" of my family cooking. When I called and asked for the recipe, both my mother and grandmother expressed disbelief at my abilities to make this dish. Well, here it is - proof that they turned out.

How long has this been on my want-to-do list? - 6 years. It felt good. Also tasted good.

In other news:

• I was able to play the new Zelda game that my brother got me for Christmas. Hopefully, I will be able to resist the urge to play it incessantly.

• I cleaned my kitchen. Really well.

Yeah... that's pretty much all I've done this week. I can't even begin to express to you how good it feels to have had a vacation! Ahhhhhh.