Well, crisis averted.
Although Goro still has my pie pan, I was able to convince Eeyore, The Prince Of Darkness to bring over his pie pan at 11:30 pm in exchange for some fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies.
And thus, my pie was saved.
Here is a picture.


Goro, I still need that pie pan.

And everyone? I still need that stunt kite.

GORO!!!! I NEED MY PIE PAN!!!!!

Cookies - reincarnate.

The first thing I did when I woke up this morning? Make some cookies. Before breakfast even.

This time, it was personal.

The result?

The best cookies I have ever made. And I'm not exaggerating. Here they are:


These are finally just the way I remember my mom's tasting. (Hey MOM, you haven't made me cookies in FOREVER!!) :)

Mine have always been good - and they've been close to what mom does, but it's never been exactly the same cookie. This time - I NAILED IT.

Now if only I can reproduce it. . . . .

A Day Of Lament

I messed up my own cookies.
I repeat.
I messed up my own cookies.

I can't believe it.

I was so embarrassed I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide.

An epitaph for my cookies:

Oh eggs,
Where were you when my cookies needed you most?
You were lying next to the mixing bowl
Instead of in the batter
Now the cookies are lying
In a dumpster
On Covenanter Lane

Holyshitbloggingtwodaysinarow!

I had a great day today, dammit. And I just want everyone to know.

Times have been really rough for me lately because of rampant injuries, interpersonal relationship stresses, and major financial problems. However, many of those things are looking like they are working out for the good. . . .

Item #1: I got paid today! From three different people who have been owing me money!!

In celebration of me having money with which to buy food, Goro and I went to Sahara Mart where I was able to buy essentials to last me for the rest of the month. I'm still pretty tight financially, but at least I have just enough to buy what I need and to get a hair cut!!!!! I was thrilled. I only got a trim, so no one noticed - but I think my hair looks better. Which is, I suppose, in the grand scheme of things all that matters anyway.

Item #2: It doesn't look like I'll be needing surgery for my left hand!

I gained a lot of mobility with the finger today and the swelling went down. Whew!

Item #3: I sounded like a bad-ass on the trombone for the first time since I hurt my shoulder. And with witnesses even!

Item #4: I. Have. Awesome. Friends. They listen to me whine. They help me solve my actual problems. They cheer me up, buy me a whole package of cupcakes when the vending machine eats my money, take me out for dinner and go out of their way to cart my ass around town. No one has any right to ask for better friends than I have. For reals.

The B.F., Goro, Brover John, and Ken - I present you with this trophy for your awesome friend-itude. Treasure it forever.

The Left Side of My Body is Cursed.

I'm sure of it. As I'm lying here in bed trying to find a sleep position that keeps my left hand above my heart while simultaneously trying not lying on my left shoulder, it occurs to me that everything happens to me on my left side. This has gone back as long as I can remember (with the exception of the 3 side neutral times I cracked my chin open).

Here is a list of all the major problems/injuries I've ever had:

1. Born with broken left shoulder blade
   
2. Scissors dropped in left eye
3. All skin on left knee removed by falling on a piece of glass.
4. Hit by a car - broke both bones in lower left leg.
5. Middle toe on left foot broken by a horse stepping on it.
6. Improperly done filling causes improperly done root canal causes tooth removal and subsequent tooth replacement on a left molar.
7. Otoschlerosis on the left side.

There is the history. Noticing a trend? Even minor injuries tend to favor that side!

Here are the things that are currently wrong with me:

1. Left shoulder messed up from playing too much trombone. (as of 3 weeks ago)
   
2. Left foot has 4 inch long cut on sole from slipping in shower. (as of this morning)
3. Left palm got a knife stuck almost all the way through it while doing dishes. And now it's all swollen and I can't really move my ring finger. (as of this evening)

But in happy news, my right side feels GREAT! :p

Finished Sweater!











































I just got done with my biggest crocheting project that I have tackled to this point. You see, I'm an avid "fiber-artist", but I have total project A.D.D. Usually, I have to do little projects so that I know I'll finish them - but I decided to buy some nice yarn and sit down and commit myself to this project.

I'm relatively happy with the results, and I've gotten several compliments on the sweater already. Being the perfectionist that I am, I'm not 100% happy with the finished product. It fits really really well. That's great. But somehow, I suck at positioning buttons and snaps. They just aren't quite right and they are creating annoying little buckles here and there. *sigh*.

Oh well, I'm sure I'll figure it out sooner or later. Or I'll just learn to live with it.

But, it fits. It looks decent. It's comfortable. And it's a LOVELY orange color, of which I totally approve.

Bill O'Reilly VS. Godwins Law

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-swAcidXHyM

Brilliant.

Purple Flowers!!!















I found them outside
Clusters that covered our lawn
I am delighted

A Haiku

The years pass swiftly
One thing remains a constant
I want a stunt kite

Not even the world's most attractive man can rock the 'stache.
Might this be a lesson for us all?

Bad Marketing:





I found this advertisement for a "career" at McDonalds while watching episodes of the Colbert Report online. How likely do you suppose it is that folks who regularly watch the Colbert Report actually fit into this target demographic? It seems to me that the majority of people who enjoy watching the show might just be more inclined to make fun of it. Why, I'm about to do that right now!

I think the thing that most strikes me about this ad is how the left seems to be an advertisement for a community or small public college telling you how they can prepare you for you for the career of which you've always dreamed. This is starkly contrasted with the "McDonald's" sign on the right. I don't know about you - but when I think of the LAST place I would consider working with two degrees, McDonald's is the FIRST place that comes to mind."

I am suddenly reminded of that Saturday Night Live commercial from back in the 90's. "What will your family do when you are gone? Start planning for their futures - LOTTO."

I realize that McDonald's is probably trying to change precisely that impression. The real humor lies in how poorly they are accomplishing that mission. They are showing this ad to a demographic that, last time I checked, is made up primarily of college students and young professionals. So essentially, they are showing this ad to a group of people for whom the idea of working at McDonald's is their ultimate nightmare of failure. Telling this demographic that they can "maximize their full potential" at McDonald's is probably more likely to scare them than to inspire them! In addition, there is not a single reason given on the sign to inform me why my opinion of employment at McDonald's might be wrong or outdated. Come on folks, know your demographic!

Therefore, I give McDonald's the same advice I gave the movie "Gracie":
Fire. Your. Publicist.

Misadventure!!!

Today I had a fun and challenging project to tackle:
To give you the back story - Goro, my friend and accompanist, broke his wrist several weeks ago. As you might imagine, I've had several reasons to be concerned about his recovery. . .

The doctor has given him the go-ahead for playing - as long as he doesn't do anything that hurts, like move his wrist around too much. The trouble is that the splint that they had given him was made for just after the surgery when he was not able to move his fingers or thumb around very much. The problem? Well, it's pretty hard to play the piano when you can't move your wrist, but damn near impossible when you can't move your thumb!

We got to talking about how the brace could be improved by removing the thumb piece - but of course, you don't want to mess with the brace that you wear for everyday activities just to play a few hours a day. We started talking about the perfect brace for playing piano at this stage in his healing. It would need to immobilize the wrist from motion while allowing the fingers full range of motion. I started talking about the different ways you could go about achieving that, when the familiar but reckless creative crafting demon inside me suddenly decided to take over my body and use it for its own designs.

"I can make that," I was suddenly compelled to say.

The rational side of me was like "You can't be serious - a brace for a BROKEN WRIST?? Are you out of your mind??!!"

But the crafty side somehow won the argument with "Oh, come on. How hard could it be?"

So Goro and I went to Johann's Fabrics and Lowe's to pick up a sturdy fabric, some Velcro, and some sort of material for the brace part that needed to be firm but somewhat flexible so we could mold it to his hand. After spending 30 or 40 minutes wandering around Lowe's, we finally realized that the best material was probably just really firm cardboard - which we could totally get for free. So we got some. And I was able to successfully mold it into a very firm board to support the wrist.

I'll spare you all the boring details of how I put it together - but here are some shots of what he already had compared with what I made for him.
Here is the brace from the doctor - notice the immobile thumb:



















Here is my version. And for all of you who may be freaking out about this idea, this is only an aid to helping him to stop from accidentally moving the wrist too far while playing gigs and such forth. Sure beats the alternative of not playing with a brace at all. . . but I do not recommend this for general life purposes!




Click on this pic to see the cool red stitching!

So there you have it. I must say, I really surprised myself with this one!

She is never going to live this down.

Feeding the Addiction:

So, compliments of friend, freestyletacet I have found a new website called Ravelry. It's basically a social networking site for yarn-arts junkies.

Pros:
The site has lots of folks involved and is fun and inviting.
The site has lots of free patterns.
There are links to great yarn stores nationwide.
There are blogs.
There are help forums.

Cons:
The site has lots of folks involved and is fun and inviting.
The site has lots of free patterns.
There are links to great yarn stores nationwide.
There are blogs.
There are help forums.
And I'm wasting WAY too much time there!!!


I, myself, am primarily a crocheter. Do I knit? Well, sort of. I can make boxes - and even scarves! (read, loooong box) Usually, I knit just enough to get to crochet. Want a sweater? Ok, I'll knit a couple of boxes and make it into a sweater by crocheting the pieces together. Yes, that's just how untalented at knitting I am.

Because of this, in the past I've gotten away with not starting new projects because I purposely avoid looking at new patterns from which to get ideas. Knits are always fashionable - but crocheted pieces are usually lace (too time consuming) or too bulky (read, ugly) to be of any interest for me to try to reproduce. Plus, I really don't know other crochet junkies because knitting for some reason seems to be much more "en vogue", (read, popular in the fringe society of people who enjoy doing repetitive tedious motions in the hopes of getting something vaguely wearable) The end result of this, is that I spend my time doing things like working, practicing, getting stuff done, etc.

Now enter Ravelry: So, all of the sudden, my interest is piqued by a few patterns - and I buy some yarn online . . . . now I'm trapped back in the addiction because I have more ideas for projects than I could possibly ever have time to get to. Shit. Freestyletacet, what have you done to me??!

Asinine-itude-ation:

This month has brought a wave of random ill-informed antagonistic behavior in my direction. I say ill-informed because in all cases, the allegations brought against me are bordering on the ridiculous - and are rather easily proven to be false if the antagonistic character had just bothered to check facts before throwing around blame.
Luckily, the effects in all cases have been relatively limited because I have had more than adequate documentation to prove my side - but it doesn't stop me from being rather annoyed at the situation. Therefore, I have invented a new way to honor these rash individuals by introducing a new point reward system for their actions. . .

Apply Now for the Fuck You Rewards card!
Piss me off! Win fabulous prizes!

• Offense APR is 0% for the first use! After that, a 16% variable annoyance and anger rate may be adhered to your account balance for subsequent use without repaying the balance to my favorable opinion of you.
• No credit limit on offenses!
• Exclusive savings! With regular use, you can reduce my association with you by up to 75%!
  
• Now with wrath insurance! With repeated use of your Fuck You Rewards card, you earn more towards insuring that your account will never be completely devoid of my wrath.
  

How to earn Fuck You Rewards points:

Now it's easier than ever to get started earning Fuck You Rewards! Simply offend me, and you have begun to earn points that you can use in my Rewards program. Each offense will earn you a variable amount of points, depending on the severity and drawn-out-ness of the event. *

All Fuck You Rewards Card members begin as a Bronze member. From there, you can earn your right to move up in the Rewards system!

Bronze member: 0-100 Fuck You points earned
Silver member: 100-200 Fuck You points earned
Gold member: 200-300 Fuck You points earned
Platinum member: 300-infinite Fuck You points earned

*Conditions on point earning are subject to change at any time with the arrival of events that may include, but are not limited to; the amount of unredeemed points already earned towards your Rewards, me having a crappy day, or visits by "Aunt Flow".

How to redeem your Fuck You Rewards:

A great feature of the Fuck You Rewards card program is that your offenses won't expire, giving you ample time to decide how you want to redeem them!

Bronze Member redemption options:

• Generally irritated behavior.
  

Silver Member redemption options:

• Cold indifference.
• Exaggerated professionalism in social and business transactions.
  

Gold Member redemption options:

• Forced civility in social interactions.
• General avoidance of you and places you tend to go.
• Angry and indignant dispute.
  

Platinum Member redemption options:

• With Platinum membership, you are automatically qualified for a free, limited time gift of FLAMING CAT SHIT from our private factory! Delivery included!

• In addition, you have unlimited access to any of the above rewards options at any time!

Asinine Discoveries:

Stupid people worry me. I seem to be running into a lot of them lately which worries me even more. Here is a list of the top idiots from this week:

• Roger Highfield, Science Editor of the Telegraph. Read the article "Mankind 'shortening the universe's life' "
• So wait - we have to observe something to make it happen? Sorry guys - Schrodinger's cat and trees falling in the forest do not real science make.

• The two townies who were in an argument about whose kid was better at middle school football. In Clouse's lounge. Really. Highlights include:
• "Well, my kid didn't even WANT to be on the football team. I told him he had to be cause I didn't want him ending up like one these here homos. (gestures at the music building) Now he is the star quarterback."
• "Well, sounds to me like North has got a homo for a quarterback then. My son leaves and breathes football like a real man. Shouldn't have to convince a boy to play football!"

• Stupid vocal majors in my early music history class. A few of today's best moments:
• (In the middle of the lecture in a bitchy tone) "Ummm... excuse me, can we actually get some real information about what is going to be on the final? I'm feeling like you aren't covering this very well and I'm getting overwhelmed."
• (During the open question session. . .) "Is the test going to be as long as the last one? You see, I think that it's total bullshit that the last test was longer than the first two. The test before you could take 30.5 seconds per question - but in our last test, there was only 20 seconds available per question - I didn't even get halfway done!
  
• (Teacher's response) - "There were the exact same number of responses on each test - 110. If you didn't get done, this is entirely your own fault for not preparing properly." CLOWN.

I actually learned something while studying for Music History today.

In Peri's opera, L'Euridice, an aria is sung to Hymen, the god of marriage.
I repeat - Hymen. The god of marriage.

And no, I'm not making that up.

That is all.

Asinine Discoveries/I have a crazy life:

My digital camera is a piece of shit.

So today I went to see Pete Ellefson premier the new David Maslanka trombone concerto. It was a great piece - albeit a little long - and Pete did a great job with it.

I was supposed to be taking pictures of Pete performing with the ensemble. I sat all the way in the back left corner of the balcony so as not to attract attention to myself. Then I carefully turned off the flash and noises on my camera and then sat in wait of a good shot. I mostly just took pictures before and after the piece so as not to disturb the folks around me. Little did I know that I was about to really disturb anyone within eye-shot of me. . .

So, all was going pretty well although my camera was behaving pretty badly and doing some weird things, but I was quietly getting a couple of pretty good shots when I managed to hold still enough to deal with the lack of flash. Nothing could have prepared me for what followed.

All of the sudden during a quiet moment of the second movement, my camera went absolutely bonkers. The flash started going off on it's own in my lap like a strobe light. I wasn't even touching it! I grabbed the camera, and put my hand over the flash while I tried to figure out what sort of demon had possessed the damn thing. The flash wouldn't stop - and let me tell you - this is one unnecessarily bright flash. Finally I had to sit on it while I fumbled to take out the batteries, to the great amusement of those around me.

Pete saw it, and looked up in my direction (he was luckily not playing for almost a minute after this).

And so I was mortified.

What is wrong with the Japanese?!

Feeling threatened? Put on a portable hiding place costume. WTF?!